Quantity AND Quality

Slick and Uncle Virgil are two guys who got it right. And that doesn’t mean they were perfect or got everything about fathering right. The art of fathering isn’t about always being right or always being fair, or strong, or smart. Crucial to success in fathering is simply being there. It doesn’t have to be planned or scheduled, though there are times where that can be a good thing, too. A child craves time with dad. Not just in close proximity to dad but resting in the heart of dad’s attention.

Here’s where I have to say that, I think, all of us struggle in areas where we lack good role models. While I had some good times with Uncle Virgil, it was the exception rather than the rule. I lived with my dad and he simply never engaged with me. There are rare memories at two different ends of my life. When I was in kindergarten my stepfather drove a beer truck for Budweiser. To this day I associate the Budweiser logo with him and, understandably, I’m not a fan of that brand! But I do remember a time when he took me on his route. It was awesome. To sit way up high in that big truck and stop at all those bars and restaurants was a great thrill for me. But much more than that was the thrill of being with my dad. Of all my early childhood memories one of the most vivid is spending a single day with my dad on his delivery route. Spending time with your children has a dramatic impact.