My Personal Naming Story

My full name is Timothy James Kurth. That's been my name since just before my fourth birthday. Before that my name was Timothy Gerald Hanley. It's not all that unusual for a step dad to adopt the children of his new wife, but that's not really what happened with me. I was named after my father. He was Thomas Gerald Hanley, named after his father Thomas. When my mom divorced Gerald (like many people in the south he went by his middle name), she was already seeing Jim Kurth and married him just months later. My mother, father and stepfather agreed that my father would stay completely out of my life as if he never existed. To accomplish this deceit my name was changed to Timothy James Kurth.

At the age of three my father, who had given me his name, took it away and allowed another man to replace it. Not only that, but the whole family was in on it. But that's a story for another time. For now let's focus on what it means to me to this day that my father took away his name and allowed another man to take his place. I didn't see my father again until I was 20 years old. I promise more on how that happened later as it's a better story. But from age three to age 20 my father had absolutely no contact with me and nothing to say to me. Instead the man who took his place did the naming. To him I was known as lazy, irresponsible, careless, and other less than encouraging names. Those names stuck with me for many years and, to be honest, still have power in my life when I let my guard down.