Practice, Practice, Practice

Consider this…

• Have you told your children the history and meaning of their names? If not, do it today and find ways to tell the story on a regular basis.

• Sit down and write a comprehensive list of the words you use to describe your children, words spoken to your children and to others. If that list contains more negative words than positive, change it. Go so far as to eliminate all negative descriptions of your children as people.

• Consider the non-verbal messages that serve as labels. Are you treating your children in such a way that they might consider themselves a burden, a nuisance, or unwanted?

• Take an honest, hard look at labels you’ve already attached to your children. This may mean asking your wife and others what labels they’ve seen you use. As you discover the negative labels you’ve applied, begin the process of removing those and putting new ones on. This may include the humbling process of admitting your mistakes and asking your children to forgive you.

• When you change the labels you use be sure to back it up with actions that are consistent.

• Even if your children are now adults you can bring healing by practicing these fathering skills. It’s never too late to bring positive change.